May all who enter find stillness enough to hear themselves again
OUR STORY
Every healing journey begins with a story. Mine began many years ago through experiences that taught me both the depth of pain and the remarkable resilience of the human spirit. As I searched for healing, I discovered transformation rarely happens all at once. It unfolds one courageous step at a time.
The Alchemist of Healing was born from that journey. The Stillhouse is the next chapter - a place where the mission of The Alchemist of Healing comes to life through nature, stillness, community and compassionate service. The Alchemist of Healing is the story of transformation. The Stillhouse is where the transformation is given a home.
Chapter One: My Story
My story begins with a dark childhood filled with trauma and abuse. So dark that if I told you exactly what all it entailed you wouldn’t believe me. On the surface, however, my family looked like the “American dream.” Nice house, cars. We had it all. We used money to cover up and hide the truth of what was going on behind closed doors.
Like most trauma survivors, to survive I blocked the abuse from my conscious memory. But the trauma buried in my subconscious mind ruled every part of my being. I used dissociation to survive the trauma. Dissociation became my way of life. I grew up lacking all sense of self: self worth, self love, self-confidence, self-awareness. I grew up completely dissociated and shut down. I was beyond damaged. I was unable to give or receive love. So I spent my entire life trying to prove that I wasn’t worthless. I became a perfectionist and over achiever. I had to prove to the world that I was someone of value even though I felt dead inside. Read More...
Chapter Two: The Alchemist of Healing
All these tools, talk therapy, support groups, self help books were important tools for progressing along my path of healing. This first section of my healing journey was focused all on the intellectual process of understanding the trauma and the affects on the physical body, especially the mind. But these tools missed THE key factor to healing and spiritual awakening, feeling the feelings. I remained shut down. I remained dissociated and beyond busy over achieving, keeping my feelings associated with the trauma buried at all costs. Running from my feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, anger, fear, and being unlovable. I remained riddled with insomnia, and anxiety. I continued a pattern of trauma and self abuse by eating unhealthy foods, keeping beyond busy, and beating myself up physically. It was during this time that I got married and raised a family. Although my three kids, now adults, were the greatest gift and greatest accomplishment of my life, I have struggled with the fact that I wasn’t the best wife and parent I could have been. Even with all the healing work done up to that point in time, I was still shut down and dissociated. I failed to be present. If we aren’t present with those we love, no matter how much we love them, they can’t feel the full affects of our love. And we can’t truly be present until we face our demons and feel the feelings. Read More...
Chapter Three: The Stillhouse
The Stillhouse has been a dream in the making. Long before there was a name, there was a vision: a place where people could step away from the noise of everyday life and reconnect with themselves, with nature, and with what matters most. A place where healing doesn’t have to be complicated. A place where we can simply be.
The name The Stillhouse came from the belief that wisdom often arrives in moments of stillness. In a world that constantly asks us to do more, achieve more, and move faster, stillness can feel almost revolutionary. This sanctuary is an invitation into that stillness.
There is no expectation that anyone needs to be anything other than exactly who they are. You don’t need to perform. You don’t need to have answers. You don’t need to fix anything. You are welcome here exactly as you are.
Chapter Four: The Journey Continues
Coming Soon....
Spiritually Fly means stepping out of your comfort zone, designing your spiritual practice in a way that's authentic to you, and using whatever tools that are going to support your personal evolution, tools that are going to aid you in transformation, and help you shed any stuff that's keeping you from being your greatest self." Faith Hunter.